|School Dance Disaster|
|Title:||School Dance Disaster|
|Uploaded on:||July 3, 2010|
|Episode type:||Random Video|
|Amount of views:||5,363,407|
|As of:||July 24, 2011|
|Watch on YouTube|
School Dance Disaser is a video on ShaneDawsonTV, uploaded on July 3, 2010. In it, Shane's teacher, Mrs. Goldstein, assigns everybody in class to create an essay about themselves. There also is a Father's Day Dance at school tonight and Shane is obligated to come, however he doesn't have a father anymore. At the party, Mrs. Goldstein inspires Shane to turn the depression into a positive motivation to inspire others. The next Friday, Shane uses the inspiration in his essay. Mrs. Goldstein awards him with an A+.
The video starts on SD High, a school where gun shots and screams can be heard.
When the school bell rings, Shane seems to enter the school, but gets a call from his mother. On Shane's phone, his mom is nicknamed as "Bitch from Hell".
When Shane tells his mom that he's at school right now, his mom says: "Hey you Faggety Ann, I can't find the damn cat. Have you seen him?" Shane asks if she looked under the bed, but his mom says: "No Shane, there is monsters under there. I do not want to die". Shane promises her to find the cat when he's home, but his mom has another question for him: "Oh, can you bring me home a box of banana twinkies and a forty?" Shane tells her he's only 18 and therefore can not buy the alcohol. His mom replies with "I would do it myself, but I lost my ID yesterday and I might get carted". To "card" a customer is to require showing of an identity document before a customer is allowed to purchase certain goods, for example, providing a driver's license as proof of age to purchase alcohol or tobacco.
Shane says "Trust me, you won't". His mom then gets real angry, yelling "Fuck you Shane! I hate you!...", and then Shane continues her sentence, which contains things like "I wish you were dead". His mom throws away her phone because she's outrageous, however she throws her phone at the cat, saying "Found 'em..."
When Shane gets in class, he meets up with strange classmates.
Amy is a blonde haired girl drinking Starbucks, and is continuously on the phone with her grandma. She says things like: "I was pooping blood for a week".
Mark is a blond haired boy who wants to be a rapper. In class, he sings a song: "Old McDonald has a dick, suck it, suck it bitch".
Abby, also known as Lucifer, is a gothic with a low voice who screams: "I am Lucifer, God of the Underworld and I want your soul!"
His teacher turns out to be Aunt Hilda, known as Mrs. Goldstein. She says she's late because the "popo pulled me over for driving under the influence, which is bullshit". However, she then takes half a bottle of beverage out of her jacket. Mrs. Goldstein then checks if everyone's present. When Mrs. Goldstein says: "Mark?", he says that he wants to be called MD. Mrs. Goldstein says: "The only thing I'm calling you is a gay homo faggot for wearing that necklace". She then asks if Abby is present. Abby screams: "Mrs. Goldstein, help me, he has my body!", on which Mrs. Goldstein replies with "All you had to say was yeah".
Mrs. Goldstein says the assignment for today is to write something about yourself. She doesn't expect much from it, because "most of you have no talent or future".
When Mark asks if he can make a rap, Mrs. Goldstein says: "Mark, I don't usually suggest suicide, for anybody, but ehm... If you honestly think you are gonna be a rapper, I think you should stand up, walk over to that window, jump out, crush your head on the cement and end your life".
Amy suggests that everybody should be obligated to come to the Father's Day Dance, that will take place that night. Mrs. Goldstein then says that, everybody who visits the dance, will get extra credit.
Shane says he doesn't want to go to the dance (because he doesn't have a father anymore). Mrs. Goldstein says: "Too bad, you're going. If I have to suffer in a hot, sweaty gym with this cumbucket and a pedobear father, you do to".
Then the Father's Day Dance starts, while the song Red Rover by Derek ft. Rap Barbie is playing. A lot of drunk people are shown and Mrs. Goldstein is dancing around while drinking alcohol. Abby is going crazy again and Amy is dancing wildly as well, however Shane is standing against the wall. The DJ then announces that it's time for a slow dance with everyone's fathers. Everybody starts hugging and dancing with their father (except for Abby, because she seems passed out).
Mrs. Goldstein notices that Shane isn't dancing because he has no father. She asks if he wants a beer, and then starts telling a story: "You know eh, I didn't have a father either. He died when I was five..." Shane asks if he died because of cancer, but Mrs. Goldstein says: "No, my mother killed him. Stabbed him in the face, chopped of his balls and threw him in a wood chipper. Yeah, he was kind of a douche[bag] anyway, though".
Shane asks why Mrs. Goldstein is at the party. She says: "Well Shane, if anyone asks I tell them I'm the page chaperone, and I'd much rather be at home masturbating watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. But the truth is... I kinda like being here, you know. Watching kids with their fathers. Makes me kinda wish things were different for me. Listen, Shane. Don't be like me, alright? You don't want to be a 65-year old watching kids and their fathers in a sweaty high school gym that smells like a ballsack. Have your own kids. Be for them what you wish you would have had". Shane says he will, however Aunt Hilda says he should cut his hair because he looks like a faggot. Mrs. Goldstein leaves, saying that she's going to get drunk at the parking lot.
On Friday, when everybody has to tell about themselves, Amy starts by saying that she wants to be a singer. Mrs. Goldstein says: "Amy, I don't mean to crush your dreams, but just because your daddy says you're good with your mouth, doesn't mean you should be a singer".Mrs. Goldstein then asks Shane in front of the class to talk about his essay. Shane starts talking: "A lot of people think about careers being the ultimate goal when they grow up. Whether they want to make a lot of money, or they want to be rich and famous. When I grow up, I want to be something I never had. I want to be a dad. I don't know what kind of job I'm gonna have, or how much money I'm gonna make, but I know for a fact that my kid is gonna have more love than anybody on this planet. That's all I want".
Mrs. Goldstein starts crying. Amy asks if she's crying, on which Mrs. Goldstein replies: "Shut your mouth, whore!" Mrs. Goldstein then ends the video by saying Shane gets an A+ for his essay.
After the video, Shane says he used to get very depressed by it, however somebody like Mrs. Goldstein told him the exact same thing, to not see it as something negative but as something to inspire others.
- "Faggety Ann" is a pun on Raggedy Ann.
- Shane's Mom has an iPhone 4, which she however throws on the ground because she's mad at Shane.
- The mini-DJ robot is also used at the party in Last Sunday Night.
- When Amy starts shaking her arms during the party, a price tag on her sleeve is whipping around.
- The song played during the "slow dance with one's father" is called Sea of Love by Cat Power.
- Amy's father is the local customer.
- Mrs. Goldstein is actually Hilda, Shane's aunt. Weirdly enough, when Mrs. Goldstein starts explaining that she didn't have a father either, this means she's also talking about the father of Shane's mom.